June Jaunts

Of freaky phones and deviant devices.

Every noon and every night I trawl and tunnel the Internet looking for inventive thinking and radical intellect. From the ends of cyber Earth to the posteriors of the silicon world, I travel ensconced firmly in the saddle of my mouse, poking and prying for persuasive silicon microcosms that are either potent or peculiar.

I know I wrote about cell phones a month ago. But what-to-do, some of my rodentary jaunts this June have revealed some really adhbhut mobile handsets that I just have to share with you right here right now.

Retro GSM Rotary Phone
Can’t believe your eyes, can you dude? Slip your regular SIM card into it and the contraption actually works as a fully functional GSM cell phone. That rotary dial of the days of yore functions as it should—as a dialer. Tones and tunes? No Mika Singh setting sawan(t) afire here; it’s only the original metallic trintrin. And yeah, you can lug this Portable Rotary Phone from Spark Fun Electronics around where ever you want, just like any other mobile phone.

But hello, mai baap I wonder is mein SMS karna ho to kaisa hoga?
www.sparkfun.com/commerce/product_info.php?products_id=287

Samsung and B&O Serene
A slick, stylish futuristic-looking clamshell phone that almost comes across as a minimalist work of art. The minimalism seems to be literal in terms of features as well: QVGA TFT-LCD display, 0.3 megapixel cam (yes, that’s 0.3!), SMS, MMS, e-mail, Bluetooth. Period. Obviously the look is the wow factor in this less-is-more Bang & Olufsen designed phone. Boasting simplicity via single-click features, a unique thumb-operated navigation wheel, and a concealed loudspeaker behind it, the solitary aim in life for this eye candy is communications. To hell with the froth and frills.
www.serenemobile.com
www.bang-olufsen.com/web2/systems/product.asp?section=systems&sub=tp&prodid=562

Nokia SURV1
First the good news: It has a scratch-resistant display, shockproof case, GPS, MP3 player, and a flashlight. You can snap it on as a belt clip or adorn your neckline (a largish pendant, but never mind). It has no buttons and operates only via the touchscreen. It’s waterproof and can go scuba diving with you. It’s a Nokia. Now the bad news: It’s still a concept phone. After you’ve finished with kicking my behind mentally for this, surf around in the Nokia Concept Lounge to some more cool and crazy stuff.
http://conceptlounge.nokia.be/eng/index.asp?&audio=1

Retro Cell Phone Stun Gun
Armed and dangerous! Watch your moves buster, this retro renegade mobile phone also doubles up as an integrated stun gun. Flick the volume switch and the top of the phone and voila, it starts emitting an electromagnetic wave that is strong enough to knock the socks off anyone who tries to mess with you. Unfortunately, the bit about calling it a cell phone is all fraud-baazi. This Shock Stick thingie is not meant to function like a cell. Bit expensive piece of self-defence equipment at $867, nahin? And methinks, with an unwieldy, monster instrument like this, why bother with electromagnetic fundas; simply use it to clobber the opposition on the cranial pan…
http://www.phonedaily.com/news/?news_id=3839

Vodafone 904SH Face Recognition Phone
Maybe Vodafone should call it Wot-a-phone. With this W-CDMA flipper you can trash the PIN number that you use for locking your cell to secure it from sneaky, slimy scoundrels. Because the 904SH comes with an in-built OKI face recognition sensor that ogles your beauteous mug before authorising usage. Other trimmings: 2.4-inch display, 3.2-megapixel camera, Bluetooth, and a motion sensor. Usage is not restrictive; you can teach it to recognise anyone, including your Tommy kutta…
www.vodafone.jp/english/products/model_3G/v904sh/index.html